Sexual Harassment in the work
place today is commonly viewed as something normal. This normality is evident
when sexual harassment victims do not have a fair channel that would take their
report/s seriously.
This is the case with – Mihiri de Silva, Head of Design, who underwent sexual
harassment at a reputed business organization in Sri Lanka. She who stood for
her rights not just as a woman but as human - was ignored, forcing her to
ultimately quit her job and start anew. This her interview, it hopes to elaborate why it's
important to fight for your rights, as well as give victims of SH and women
Hope.
1.What was your initial reaction to what was asked of you?
My initial reaction was “someone is drunk & it isnt me”, hence I
tried to play it down as he first made this “pass” at me was when he
was slightly buzzed & therefore I put it down to a drunk pass . But I was
also taken a back as my friendship with him is from before he started at this
company. And there never was ever an inclination of such then. And at the time
, I thought if i ignored it , he would never know he said or did such a thing
in his drunkard state
2.What
action did you take to overcome this, and did it work ?
As he was first a friend &
then a work mate, I made light of it and tried to convey to him I was NOT
interested in having anything more than a professional relationship with him.
However he said it need not be like that, as “so many do it”.
I had to
remind him that he had a family, to which he immediately responded
saying he can always “get out of it” ! Over time, he kept saying how much he liked me, wanted to be with me and so on. But I said it wont happen, EVER!
I reached out to the company HR
Director as my first resort as my boss was making working with him very
uncomfortable and unreasonable.The HR Director, seemed very surprised of this
overture & he said he will “resolve it” and to “keep it quiet” - until he did
what he needs to - i.e. speak with my boss. He even asked me not to speak to
certain Directors as they may “speak out of turn & embarrass my boss”.
However, nothing ever came out of that
conversation & I doubt he really took my
complaint seriously, as I feel now there was a boy code at that level.
As the HR Director took no
action,
I then spoke with our Managing Director who was in shock on hearing this
revelation and said not to make any rash decisions and he will attend to this
no sooner he returned from an overseas trip, which he was doing the next day. However my conversation with him seemed to have fallen between
the cracks of the airport floor tiles after his trip.
As a final resort , I wrote to
the Chairman of the company, well advised by my parents along with my friends
in the legal field as I was just an individual vs a large company making such
an allegation. In detail I wrote as to why I was quitting on a
well loved job, which they offered me. I mentioned that I was curtailing my
career for something I hadn't done nor planned.
* excerpts of my final letter
written to the Company Chairman -
Perhaps you are aware that my contract with “Company ABC” was originally intended to be from X -Y . However, I have been compelled to curtail this period due to the inappropriate and uncomfortable working environment my CEO Mr X created for me. I have always loved my work, and passion was an essential component of my work in my entire Design career at Company ABC and elsewhere.Sadly it came to a point that I no longer enjoyed working for X due to my being a woman who refused to fall prey to the inappropriate advances made by my CEO.This unfortunate turn of events commenced in September X; I do not think it appropriate to bring all the sordid details that transpired to your attention but suffice it to be said that the inappropriate advances manifested themselves verbally, physically, and by SMS at work.
What really shattered my faith is the fact that I tried to meet with you to speak to you of this after having brought this to the attention of both HR and MD. It only ended up with the realization that "might is right" and eventually leaving me to deal with this most delicate situation at work by myself.
I am leaving a job I loved and a company I love dearly, as a result.
3.What made you finally quit & did you have a backup plan?
I soon realised my boss was
walking the talk of what I was told, “if you don't want to have a relationship
with me because we work together, then I will make your life hard where you
want to leave this job & once you leave, I will pursue you” .
He willfully started excluding me at high level meetings & decisions which I was a core part of before . Left me out of the loop in almost every work related event . When I realised this job isn't worth my effort of coming to work to be treated as such, I decided to throw in the towel.
I had no back up plans but I
hated what I was going through 5 days of the week, 9-5pm.
However I also knew I was financially more secure & qualified than
many to make such a decision which made it easier to walk out. Although,
looking back, I should have not done so
for the sake of all others who did not have this advantage.
4.How
did this experience, impact your life
afterwards?
I think I left on my terms - which in hindsight should have
been a legal exit with compensation & an apology, not just a letter of
resignation given out of frustration. I know I quit based on moral grounds on
what I believed was right. I had no qualms to give up a good job for that.
This impacted me financially, yet I would not sleep with my boss to ensure I had a secure career. I was bigger , better than that!
5.What
is your advice for victims of sexual harassment in a work place?
Report it to your superiors immediately if not to a Senior.
Save / record any form of verbal or written harassment from the
onset . Keep it for reference .
Speak to as many people about it at work . Make as many people aware of your situation
6. Why is it important to report such an issue?
Women have every right to come to work , do her job, get paid & be
happy.
She does not need to feel under obligation for sexual favours to secure her career growth.
Hence it MUST be reported! Ask your self-
1) How
often do you hear of this situation happening to a man ?
2) What if your daughter was facing this
situation , what would your response be ?
7. What is your advice to victims afraid to report?
There is NOTHING to be afraid of reporting . You are not at fault , you are not the perpetrator.
8.How and Where can a victim of SH gain support at a time like this?
Ideally from the company itself - HR or Senior Management .
If not perhaps external women welfare units - or A lawyer perhaps.
9.What do you feel causes sexual harassment to exist as ‘normal’?
I feel some women encourage it
for their benefit. So they will consent to such either for their own needs of
pleasure or career growth. And to such, this is normal.
In the case of men , some think "monogamy is not for men", and they have almost a right to hit on a female work colleague and consider it normal- even if she refuses his advances.
Her refusal to him is a lack of dominance for these type of men; an insubordinate woman. Hence the harassment which follows to this could be seen as being vindictive.
10.What
are your suggestions on curbing SH in the work place?
Making women aware of their work
rights
Making men aware of their work
rights
Making both men & women aware
of consequences of such
Hard / strong / quick action should be taken against the perpetrators
*The article has been edited further to focus on the issue at hand.
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